Ideas on what to do with your US Dollars

What amazing times we live in today. Information flows like a fast moving river and any potentially impactful news hits our financial markets like a freight train run off the track. I find it particularly discouraging how little faith the American populace has in our economy, will to succeed and good ol' American capitalism in general.

Since our good old greenback is dropping like a rock in the world currency markets, many people are asking me, "What should I do with my money???" I have a few suggestions that might prove constructive:

1. St. Patrick's Day wrapping paper. It may, in fact, be cheaper than a $5.99 roll of paper to wrap up that pint of Guinness for the ones you love.


2. Smoke it. Come on, you know you've always wanted to roll up a couple of bills and smoke it just to see what happens. On second thought, with all the residual drugs on the bills, you might OD. Scratch that.


3. A measuring device. In case you have the need to measure out the exact weight of a gram, the dollar would be a perfect tool to have handy. Otherwise, you could use it to approximate distances on a road map which might actually save you gas money.


4. For household uses. You could use a dollar in myriad ways around the home. In the bathroom as well, you know, in the kitchen as a pilot light lighter, in the bedroom to throw over the bed instead of expensive rose petals, in the attic shredded for insulation, in the basement as a dryer sheet.


5. At work. You could actually use this virtually worthless currency to bribe your co-workers to perform work for you. You know the ones I'm talking about, the folks who haven't seen a newspaper in weeks or know what the internet is. They still think we're an economic powerhouse.


6. At the store. Exchange it for as much non-perishable food as you can before you need their grocery carts to carry it in the store. While you're there you could ask for old coupons since their exchange rate $1/100th is on par with the greenback.


7. At a casino. This is the time to gamble. Like the old saying, "Play like you've got nothing to lose!"


8. For your health. According to my Hotmail inbox, there are a ton of Canadian pharmacies that will still sell me male enhancement drugs at $1 per pill.


9. On i Tunes. You can still get one song per buckeroo.


10. At the gas station. At a price of under $1000 per tank, gasoline is still a phenomenal steal here in the US compared with Europe.

I hope some of these will assist you with your quest for fiscal responsibility.